Yes, a Whole Post On the "Sharktopus" Trailer

Um...

Ok...?

Lemme get this straight: Sharktopus growls underwater? And breathes air? And sports two mouths, thus no excretory system? And was apparently created, if the trailer's editing is to be believed, when a giant octopus got into a fight with a great white shark and got slapped on the back with some blinking red military device? That's about as logical as the idea that John Merrick was born the Elephant Man because a pachyderm trampled his mother when she was pregnant with him.

Alright, enough whining. Going into a screening of a SyFy Channel original movie with concerns about the true nature of cinema is like going to Hitler's birthday party and getting grumpy over receiving a crappy goody-bag. Shouldn't have showed up in the first place, dude, if that was your concern.

So for those of you not in the know, yes, this is an actual film being produced by the SyFy channel which will air on their network sometime in the coming months. Pre-production meetings whispered rumors of conversations tackling such difficult filmic questions as "How many heads should this sucker have?" Needless to say, I was stoked. Am I still stoked? Not anymore. The trailer kind of spoils the joke for me, and any more exposure to that G-dawful themesong will make me grab a razor.

--Serge

PS: As if things couldn't get more horrifying, yes, that was Eric Roberts, the man who played mob-boss Salvatore Maroni in The Dark Knight (2008)